holding pattern

Can't sleep, even though I have to work 6 hours from now. What's wrong? Not sure. A couple things going on.

1. The holding pattern of my life. Waiting for mail that never comes, freaking out around 1pm every day. Not able to do anything constructive until it arrives everyday, but still no news, good or otherwise.

2. Not quite as nonchalant about my trip to Ottawa for the job this Sunday, because of no news as a fall back plan yet. So it's a bit of do (as in 'impress the interviewers) or die (bum around for the rest of my life).

3. My sister is moving out on Sat, to a rented room across town to start her graphics design program at Humber next week. Living with a thousand nosy relatives is bad enough. Without her here, it's going to be unbearable.

4. My mom and sis had YET ANOTHER FIGHT tonight about her going to school. I try not to get involved, but it is so draining.

5. Got a couple text messages from the boy from the summer. Finally caved and wrote back. Still miss him. A lot.
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But at least:

-1. My band sounded good tonight.

-2. After tomorrow, taking lots of time off work in March to get this thesis off the ground.

-3. I'm feeling a little sleepier now.

am I a b*tch?

So I have this friend that I've known for 10 years. And every time we've made plans to go out and do something (movie, dinner, etc), she has always been at least half an hour late. I kid you not - I've waited 2 hours for her before.

Today, we were going to meet at 1pm for lunch. We haven't seen each other for a couple months, and she called me to make plans, and I was more than happy to see her. She called last night to confirm, and this morning again, and I stressed that I was really hungry, so let's eat first, etc. Okay, so I waited at the restaurant. Being me, I try to be 5 minutes early. (It doesn't always work out, but I try, okay?) FORTY-FIVE minutes later, after repeated phone calls by me that went unanswered, she was still not there, and I left. I mean, usually, I would wait. But I was really, really hungry, and annoyed. I mean, I know that in a way, I 'allow' her to be late all the time by putting up with it, but I'm just tired of it. So she called me at 1:50pm and said that she in on the RT now (15 mins Rapid Transit across Scarborough, for non-Torontonians). But I'd already called my sister to pick me up, and so I told her that, and, you know, that I'm sorry we couldn't meet up today. I think she was a little shocked at my behaviour. I was too. I mean, I know she is taking the subway, etc. I guess I just didn't want to wait anymore. Does that make me a bad friend? I don't know if I made a bad decision. I was planning to spend the whole day with her anyway. Was it petty and vengeful? I don't know.

Grad School

After spending all day at Robarts and Bora Laskin Libraries downtown, I can't agree with this more.
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>The Top 10 Subtle Differences Between Grad School and Hell
>
>10. It doesn't rain in Hell.
>
>9. Everyone has heard of Hell.
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>8. It's a lot more fun getting into Hell.
>
>7. You can't flunk out of Hell.
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>6. At least you can sleep in Hell.
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>5. Hell really is forever; grad school just seems like it.
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>4. People smile in Hell.
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>3. You only have to sell your soul to go to Hell.
>
>2. You know why you're in Hell. (And so do other people.)
>
>AND THE NUMBER ONE SUBTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRAD SCHOOL AND HELL IS!....(drum roll please....)
>
>1. You would never tell a friend to go to grad school!