Relatively settled in - for the next two months or so. I was calculating how often I've moved since leaving for university:
home
-> Hamilton, Mac Wallingford Hall Sept 99-Apr 00
-> Shanghai, Dad's Apt May 00 - June 00
-> Lindsay, Power Scholarship July 00 - Aug 00
-> Hamilton, Mac Moulton Hall Sept 00 - Apr 01
-> Scarborough, home May 01 - Aug 01
-> Hamilton, Mac Moulton Hall Sept 01 - Apr 02
-> Hamilton, Main Street Apt May 02 - Apr 03
-> Scarborough, home May 03 - June 03
-> Borden, Camp July 03 - Aug 03
-> Kingston, RMC Sept 03 - June 04
-> Cold Lake, Camp July 04 - Aug 04
-> Scarborough, home Sept 04 - June 05
-> Cold Lake, Camp July 05 - Aug 05
-> Windsor, Residence Sept 05 - Dec 05
-> Windsor, Wyandotte Apt Jan 06 - Apr 06
-> Windsor, University Apt May 06 - Apr 07
projected
-> Scarborough, home May 07 - June 07
-> Cold Lake, Camp July 07 - Aug 07
-> Leicester, Residence Sept 07 - Dec 07
-> Windsor, Residence Jan 08 - Apr 08
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who lives like this?!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
this moment
Been lulled away by the facility of facebook as of late, but in the small hours when sleep eludes me, comfort is still better found in the written word. Wrote 3 exams this week, 1 left next Friday. Big gap - a bit of a breather.
Moving back to Toronto this Sunday. Part of me find it hard to believe that I've lived with a significant other for a whole year. The other part can't wait to get out of here. I don't know if it's bravado or just plain oblivion, but he's shown me plans of how he will redecorate the place once I'm gone. Asked if I could still occasionally crash here this summer if need be. He hesitated. Jokingly asked if he will be having girls here. 'Maybe' hurt more that I expected.
Got an offer for a research assistantship for 8 weeks of the summer. Pretty interesting stuff, so hopefully I can work something out by doing research in Toronto for the first 2 months, and then go off to camp for the second 2 months. I complain, but a lot of the times things do fall into place for me. For that I should be grateful.
Love. It turned out to be not what I imagined. Life. A listless wandering sprinkled with discounted Cadbury eggs. Career. What if no one wants to give you a chance to do what you want to do? As bizarre as this may seem, I hear a recurrent lyrics from Beauty and the Beast:
Moving back to Toronto this Sunday. Part of me find it hard to believe that I've lived with a significant other for a whole year. The other part can't wait to get out of here. I don't know if it's bravado or just plain oblivion, but he's shown me plans of how he will redecorate the place once I'm gone. Asked if I could still occasionally crash here this summer if need be. He hesitated. Jokingly asked if he will be having girls here. 'Maybe' hurt more that I expected.
Got an offer for a research assistantship for 8 weeks of the summer. Pretty interesting stuff, so hopefully I can work something out by doing research in Toronto for the first 2 months, and then go off to camp for the second 2 months. I complain, but a lot of the times things do fall into place for me. For that I should be grateful.
* * *
I wish I were different. I don't know different how. It is not that I am unhappy; I just want more. Bear with my self-aggrandizement, but I want to be extraordinary still. But how can I be what I'm meant to be, when I don't know what that is? How can I shuck off this mortal coil and dream once more?Love. It turned out to be not what I imagined. Life. A listless wandering sprinkled with discounted Cadbury eggs. Career. What if no one wants to give you a chance to do what you want to do? As bizarre as this may seem, I hear a recurrent lyrics from Beauty and the Beast:
"There must be more that this provincial life"
Sunday, April 08, 2007
in dreams
A combination of stress and studying, coupled with a headache, put me in bed from 7pm last night to 10:30am this morning. My body is seriously crashing. A handful of weird dreams that I can remember:
1. I was in the back seat of a car with my sister, my mom driving, grandma riding shotgun. Over were going fast on an overpass, and below was a variety of brightly coloured fabrics laid out, a sort of flea market. We keep looking over the side of our windows, going too fast, and then all of a sudden we drove off the overpass, and started hurling towards the ground. By a series of cunning manoeuvres I was able to somehow get the car to land on a huge shipping container. I was unscathed, but I couldn't find the others. By the time I found my mom, my sister was already jabbering unintelligibly on her cell phone. No sign of grandma. Went looking for help. Got to a hotel, asked to use their phone. Dialed 911, and told the police that we were in a 'catastrophic' accident. He mocked me, until I described to him what happened. Then he sent help. By the time I went back to the crash site, my entire extended family was already there, grandma include safe and sound.
2. I was thirsty and also wanted a slice of Kraft cheddar cheese. So I got up from my bed and started to head towards the kitchen. But somehow, the space of the room and the kitchen at overlapped, so I could get to the kitchen by feeling around, without actually getting out of bed. Got my cheese and could actually taste it, plus 2 gulps of the cool, refreshing water. Then I headed towards the window in the room, but realized that it corresponded to the balcony from the kitchen's perspective, so I could have fallen off. Saw my plant in the kitchen, but realized this morning that it was an old plant. Usually I can tell when I am dreaming, and settle in for the ride. Seriously disturbing when you think you are awake, but you aren't, or can't wake yourself up. I did finally got up and got water though.
3. In my old house, with my black lab. Keep dreaming of this house, and it was always comfortable to be there, almost 'my' house. Black lab was playing with my sister's current white pitbull. Another random white dog was around, as well as my cousin's old dog Wolfie.
Weird stuff floating around in the subconscious.
1. I was in the back seat of a car with my sister, my mom driving, grandma riding shotgun. Over were going fast on an overpass, and below was a variety of brightly coloured fabrics laid out, a sort of flea market. We keep looking over the side of our windows, going too fast, and then all of a sudden we drove off the overpass, and started hurling towards the ground. By a series of cunning manoeuvres I was able to somehow get the car to land on a huge shipping container. I was unscathed, but I couldn't find the others. By the time I found my mom, my sister was already jabbering unintelligibly on her cell phone. No sign of grandma. Went looking for help. Got to a hotel, asked to use their phone. Dialed 911, and told the police that we were in a 'catastrophic' accident. He mocked me, until I described to him what happened. Then he sent help. By the time I went back to the crash site, my entire extended family was already there, grandma include safe and sound.
2. I was thirsty and also wanted a slice of Kraft cheddar cheese. So I got up from my bed and started to head towards the kitchen. But somehow, the space of the room and the kitchen at overlapped, so I could get to the kitchen by feeling around, without actually getting out of bed. Got my cheese and could actually taste it, plus 2 gulps of the cool, refreshing water. Then I headed towards the window in the room, but realized that it corresponded to the balcony from the kitchen's perspective, so I could have fallen off. Saw my plant in the kitchen, but realized this morning that it was an old plant. Usually I can tell when I am dreaming, and settle in for the ride. Seriously disturbing when you think you are awake, but you aren't, or can't wake yourself up. I did finally got up and got water though.
3. In my old house, with my black lab. Keep dreaming of this house, and it was always comfortable to be there, almost 'my' house. Black lab was playing with my sister's current white pitbull. Another random white dog was around, as well as my cousin's old dog Wolfie.
Weird stuff floating around in the subconscious.
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