Moving back to Toronto this Sunday. Part of me find it hard to believe that I've lived with a significant other for a whole year. The other part can't wait to get out of here. I don't know if it's bravado or just plain oblivion, but he's shown me plans of how he will redecorate the place once I'm gone. Asked if I could still occasionally crash here this summer if need be. He hesitated. Jokingly asked if he will be having girls here. 'Maybe' hurt more that I expected.
Got an offer for a research assistantship for 8 weeks of the summer. Pretty interesting stuff, so hopefully I can work something out by doing research in Toronto for the first 2 months, and then go off to camp for the second 2 months. I complain, but a lot of the times things do fall into place for me. For that I should be grateful.
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I wish I were different. I don't know different how. It is not that I am unhappy; I just want more. Bear with my self-aggrandizement, but I want to be extraordinary still. But how can I be what I'm meant to be, when I don't know what that is? How can I shuck off this mortal coil and dream once more?Love. It turned out to be not what I imagined. Life. A listless wandering sprinkled with discounted Cadbury eggs. Career. What if no one wants to give you a chance to do what you want to do? As bizarre as this may seem, I hear a recurrent lyrics from Beauty and the Beast:
"There must be more that this provincial life"
1 comment:
The discounted Cadbury Eggs could be messing up your dreams. If they won't pay you to do what you want to do, then find someone who will. Easier said then done, yes, but every so often I hear someone who loves their job and couldn't imagine doing anything other than that. Not where I am at, but they all seem to be. Good luck, and good night.
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