Spooky

Jonathan carved this for me. Prizes for anyone who can guess what it's suppose to be!

Not Knowing

I got an email today that says that one of the firms that I met with at the on-campus interview doesn't have the availability to meet with me for a full length interview. It's not that big a deal, because obviously they are eliminating people at every stage of the process. And I'm not even depressed or particularly frantic but the summer job yet. I think I've mostly recovered from Vancouver, and now am just trying to deal with things as they come.

I feel that the bar keeps getting set higher and higher, and I am starting to doubt my ability to keep clearing it. It is not that I have never experienced failure before; of course I have. But now things that really matter are harder to accomplish, and many things are a lot scarier than they are or should be.

Faith is about believing without knowing though, right? So I've gotta believe that it'll be okay, and both sunshine and rain lie always ahead.

No Dice

It's the end of the week, and I haven't heard from from the Dept of Justice, so I have to admit that I didn't get the gig. I had my first interview on Monday at 3pm, and they called me back at 5:30pm to go back on Tuesday, 8am for a second interview. There were 2 interviewers in the first, and 4 interviewers in the second. I blew that 2nd one though, big time. I've never messed up something so badly. I named a BC case, and then proceeded to discuss an ON one as if it were the BC one. What a mess. I was kicking myself as soon as I walked out of there. I know it was great to get a second interview, and it's good experience, and blah blah blah, but I really wanted it, and it was pretty expensive to go out there. I'm just disappointed with myself, it's all.

The boy is being extra supportive and sweet though. He sent flowers to my hotel in Vancouver! It's one year soon. =)

not me

Couldn't sleep 'til around 2am last night, after driving through a brief snow storm to get into Toronto from Windsor. It feels like late November. Got up at 7am, got into Hamilton around 9am. Had a coffee and a fruit bowl, and read the papers to sound smart at my 10:30am interview. Met with 4 interviews, each for about 30mins. Good conversations, nice people, glorious 4-storey converted from old fashion bank building as an office. I'm estimating that they are interviewing around 20 students, to fill 1-2 spots.

I can't work there.

I realized today just how not cut out I am for private practice. The firm specializes in 'recovery', meaning they represent all the banks in Canada to kick people out of their houses when they default on their mortgage payments. Farmers who put up their houses as collaterals are out of luck with this bunch should their farm fails.

I don't think corporations, banks, insurance companies, etc don't deserve top notch legal representation. Their causes are no less just even though it's profit-oriented. They need and have fantastic people doing their work.

I just can't stomach it.

Which puts a lot more pressure on for this Dept of Justice interview on Monday in Vancouver for me. If I don't get a job with the government, I don't know what I'd want to do instead. I don't even know if I'd want to practice law then. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but I owe it to myself to be who I'm meant to be. And that's not easy with the very definition of success in the entire field seems to be business law in a national firm.

more news

I slept in this morning, which is nothing new, but when I open an eye and turned out my cell at 10am, I got a call from a Hamilton firm, offering me an interview! So this is going to be crazy: Oct 13 Hamilton interview, Oct 15 fly to Vancouver, Oct 16 Vancouver interview, Oct 17 fly back to Toronto, Oct 18 Toronto firms interviews on campus in Windsor. Ahh!!

Hopefully something will magically transform itself into a job. =)

Interviews Baby!!

So after much agonizing of clicking the Send/Receive button of my Outlook Express about a gazillion times around noon, I finally got the emails that says I have 4 interviews for Toronto firms. But I was totally bummed out all day, 'cuz none was them was from Dept of Justice Toronto. This bummy haze continue, as we find out from subsequent emails that the system is finicky, so we might not have received all the emails we were suppose to be getting. I went to school to check, in hopes that there is a DOJ interview for me in there, but no, just the four firms I had got. Bummy, bummy, bummy 'til 6pm, when I got a call, area code (604).

THE COOLEST NEWS EVER: Department of Justice Vancouver granted me an interview!!!

So I'll be flying out there the weekend of Oct 14th. I'm so freakin' excited.