My Pig Personality

Try this, and then discover my inner pig.

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You drew your pig:

Toward the middle of the frame, you are a realist.

Facing front, you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. You are a GREAT listener.

The size of the tail indicates how good is your sex life. You have a good sex life.

22 on 22

It's my baby sister's birthday! Happy 22nd, and 1st to your Cob-Cob. =)

Point Pelee

In an act of spontaneity that rarely hits an 'old married couple' like us (we are extremely boring people), we decided to drive to Point Pelee after work yesterday. It's about an hour away, and the cool, evening breeze made it a pleasant drive. Once there, we discovered that the shuttle bus that takes us to the actual southern tip of Canada had stopped running for the night. So we decided to hike the 2.5km to the tip, and it was totally worth it.

I stand corrected

His idea of clean, is really clean. Now if I can only harass that technology as a weekly routine instead of every six weeks, we'd be good.

So bored - it's ridiculously hot out. I think I need to go shopping.

I am lost

I was writing in my journal today (yes, I keep a paper one too), and I realized how screwed up my life has been this year. And every couple weeks I seem to have an internal battle with myself as to whether I am happy or not. If I'm the type who liked drama in a relationship, we'd be having a fight every couple days because of my crippling insecurities.

I don't understand it. Everything is great, yet I'm not sure whether I'm trying to convince myself that I'm happy or that I am not. My sister once asked me whether this was my Great Love. That was another time and in another relationship, but still I wonder: do I want passion or security? I don't doubt that we care a great deal about each other, but is this the 'til-death-do-us-part kind of love? And if it isn't, should that be a deterrent in continuing the relationship? I think the trouble is that I have a roadmap for my life, and I seem to be (unfairly) just trying to audition guys for that complementary role so I can have my happily ever after shortly after graduation, and my 2.3 kids preferably before I'm 32. I want the SUV and the picket fence. Do I want him?

I don't know where this doubt is coming from. Nothing has changed between us. I just seem to be allergic to happiness, and have never learned contentment. I could blame this on an X who really screwed up my perspective on relationships. But it might be easier just to blame myself.

We were listening to a recording of Siyahamba at band practice today, and I just feel lost.

Good Weekend

I haven't been back to Toronto since before exams, which was two months ago. So I drove, drove, drove for 4 hours, battling traffic and construction, and got back around 9:30pm on Friday night. It was my mom's birthday, so my sister and I went out to lunch with her on Sunday. It was also Annual Inspection for 110, and going back there to see all my friends, and the cadets growing up impossibly fast, is also a gratifying experience. Lots of alumni returned this year, and it was really nice to see some of my former cadets turn up in junior officer uniforms. I got to present an award and do some promotions, so it's almost like I never left. This was the 11th 110 Annual I've attended (missed the one in 2000), and it's hard not to reminiscence and think about being kids not so long ago, and all the responsibilities we shoulder now. Ever onward.

birthday & marks

We celebrated his 25th birthday on Wednesday with dinner at Hikari. Yummy raw fish!

We also got our first year marks yesterday. I was hoping for two A's, but alas, it was not to be. Just one for Constitutional. However, I was shocked that I somehow managed a B+ in Criminal, which means that I must have begged, borrowed or stolen an A on that final exam. You just never know with these things. Oh well, good enough, I guess. Totally beat my boyfriend though. ;)

Going to Toronto this weekend for 110 Annual, and my mom's birthday.

Chip

After me asking - well, more like begging - for a week, we went to the SPCA after work yesterday. That's where we met Chip. How cute is he! He's a one year old stray who's never been trained, so he's a little ADHD. But fun. So for all his whining and reluctance, guess who liked the dog better? (We haven't adopted him, btw, but thinking about it)

Are we ready for a dog? Probably not. I know it's a big responsibility. And when dishes and laundry can be points of contention, taking care of another living being is not such a good idea. But there is an appeal to having some thing together, joint custody if you will. Want to feel grown up - that we have responsibilities. That we can establish some permanence to the relationship.

Don't get me wrong. Despite all my complaining here, things are going well between us. Surprisingly so, considering I haven't lived with anyone else in a while, and never a significant other. I don't want to make him feel like he is auditioning for some role of future whatever with me, but I also want to know that the possibility is there, and real. I want to feel that we are ready for the responsibility, even if it's not practical or realistic right now.