disappointed

Less than a week, and it is all happening. I have heard the Bar Call compared to a wedding, and now I can see why. The stress and drama has reach epic proportions. Remember how my dad was deported? And we were all waiting for see if he can get a transit travel visa? Well, he got it, and has chosen not to come.

Why he couldn't just lie and say that he didn't get the visa, I do not know. I only know how much this feels like a slap on the face. I never thought I would understand him, or how my mom turns this into a lecture of telling me to 'grow up, and let go' of that relationship. I want to believe that he still cares, that he must, that I'm his daughter despite everything. But every shred of hope he seems determined to destroy.

So at this point, my mom is the only one coming, while the support from my friends have been incredible and touching. I guess I did the right thing banking on my friendships rather than trying to cultivate relationships with my family.

It's suppose to be a happy day, but I am so sad.