I hate that I said, "It's me" when calling an ex(J), and I hate that the response was "I know that voice well". I hate that J think he has a free pass back into my life now. I hate that I could not adjudicate the sanity between 2 people who once meant the world to me (though not at the same time). I hate that I keep losing one again and again for the past 3 years, and every time hurts just as much as the last, if not more. I hate that I was excited when I thought J had changed, and then disappointed to discover that he hasn't, and that the simple truth that people don't change still elude me. I hate that J thinks he can ask about R, or expect me to take his side, no questions asked. I hate that I still care about R, and feel like I should defend him to J, despite R's inexcusable actions. I hate that I still don't have an articling job.
I hate I am 3500 miles away from home, and feel no more alone than I usually feel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OT: I can't believe my daemon has been changed 5 times already! It went from an ocelot to a wolf to a spider. My friends really don't see me as I see myself! =)
1 comment:
The beauty with lonely is you can find it no matter where you go and what your looking for, it can always be there. What would life be without drama? But does the drama actually lead to anything besides frustration? I know an atypical pesimistic reply. Hope that sunny skies come your way.
Post a Comment