What do you do when someone tells you that they have a brain disease, don't know how long they are going to live, but is refusing treatment , and want nothing to do with you, all because they love you? Do you respect what they want and wish them well, or do you keep banging your head against the brick wall of their resolve? And what if after a shouting match over the phone, they email to say they will always love you not even an hour after you say the worst goodbye in your life? What if they follow up with a text message that says that they love you and miss you at 3am in the morning?
Do you walk away to save your own sanity, and then wonder the rest of your life if there was more that you could have done? Do you fly out to try to sort this out, even though they expressedly said no? How do you keep from feeling angry, even though you know they are just trying to make you mad to get you to go away? How do you keep from feeling infinite sadness that there is nothing you can do for them? How do you convince them that they are worth loving, when they hate themself? How do you keep yourself from feeling guilty for wondering if any of what they said was true? Is it any wonder that you are now convinced that this summer was just a dream?
4 comments:
Fly out there.
fly out. considering the circumstances (all of them), it might be the best (or only) way to sort it out...
that's so rough! i'm sorry to hear about all this drama... i wish i was wiser and could give bettter advice but i can't... perhaps going out there to check out exactly what is going on is the thing to do if it's the sort of thing that's going to haunt u for a while???
- aziz
Do you have a choice?
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